Apple Should Pay Me

Then again, after discovering my well-founded cynicism toward Apple, I'm sure they wouldn't.

But I came up with just the thing to sell the iPod to more elitist Mac lemmings: the streiPod.
Who wouldn't want to gaze upon Babs as they listen to their favorite music and compliment themselves on their own fine taste?

Just remember, Mr. Jobs: It was my idea first.

Album Covers Have It Out

Now, I know this isn't much of a media-rich blog, but I just had to post this very clever and entertaining video. Especially if you're 30 or older. So here.

People Bad. Not-people Good. Ugh.

It seems that four out of five articles I read incorporate the hackneyed, presumptuous angle that the civilization of man is bad. Can't these people come up with anything else? Don't these environmentalist blowhards realize that their arguments are anything but compelling?

Today, I refer to New Scientist.com: Imagine Earth Without People. While the subject matter makes for an interesting read (conjecture as to how planet Earth would adapt in an unpeopled condition), it's lines like this that truly make me roll my eyes:

In just a few thousand years we have swallowed up more than a third of the planet's land for our cities, farmland and pastures. By some estimates, we now commandeer 40 per cent of all its productivity. And we're leaving quite a mess behind: ploughed-up prairies, razed forests, drained aquifers, nuclear waste, chemical pollution, invasive species, mass extinctions and now the looming spectre of climate change. If they could, the other species we share Earth with would surely vote us off the planet.

Swallowed? Commandeer? Mess? Looming spectre?

Let's just cut to the chase and distribute cyanide pills to everyone. I'm not disputing these facts. I just take issue with the foregone conclusion that converting God-given lands to useful purposes is somehow reprehensible.

I love the invention of another amusing evil:

In some countries, including Germany, Austria, Belgium and the Netherlands, there is no longer any night sky untainted by light pollution.

"Bobby, turn off that flashlight right now! Don't you know you're tainting the environment?!"

I suppose if you define "pollution" as something that wouldn't exist without mankind, then sure. I suppose that means every last building, invention, composition, utterance and breath of every human on the planet is a form of pollution. Our very thouhts must be wreaking havoc on the normally pristine psychic enivornment of the planet.

My position can be nicely summarized by Mr. Hollohan, my 9th grade English teacher. Regarding the ongoing struggle between mankind and the Earth, he said that ultimately the Earth will win, hands down. The article states that some of the "damage" we inflict upon the environment will take thousands of years to heal. In geological time, that's the blink of an eye. From the perspective of Earth, it's nothing more than a mosquito bite. We humans aren't as powerful as we think we are.

Happy Birthday to #300,000!

The Independent, a UK pub, issued a guilt-ridden, accusatory article on how those American clods are hogging all the world's resources. After reading it, all I can say is, "Boo hoo." But I was able to glean a nugget of awesomeness from it:

"America is the only industrialised nation in the world experiencing significant population growth."

Gee, isn't that the goal? I know in many circles, (particularly those elitists who can't stand the unwashed masses, and countries like China who have little regard for human life) a growing population is a bad thing. But everywhere I've lived, the goal is to grow the economy, grow the workforce, expand the company, etc. All with the intent to create a higher standard of living.

The article points out that Americans consume far more resources than their fair share. What's "fair"? Are they suggesting that our trillions of dollars worth of resources and manufactured goods simply be doled out to nations crippled by corrupt governments and economically unviable cultures? Are impoverished countries somehow more moral than America by virtue of their economic status? Regardless of the horrific human rights abuses that many of their governments perpetuate? That's quite a definition of fair. Sounds like the Democrats' version of "economic reform."

Well, enough of my rambling. In stark contrast to the gist of the Independent article, I welcome the 300 millionth American with excitement. One more person to grow our economy, innovate advancement and spread the American way of life.

Congratulations, little Pablo!


Source

What A Funny Joke!

Boy, it never gets old. This happens every single time I wear a tie to work. Without fail. Which is why I only wear a tie about once a month. Sheesh.

Crappy Shelves, Great Price!

Untitled, originally uploaded by Senor Velasco.

So I bought a couple clearance bookshelves. $15 apiece. Normally $60. I think they're barely worth $15, but they're serviceable, as far as particle board goes.

Anyway, this is about as advanced as my Sketchup skills are at this point. If they inspire you, you have issues.

Speaking of "Trifecta"...

tim johnson, originally uploaded by Senor Velasco.

I now have my triumvirate of signed photographs of South Dakota's three congressmen. (Yes, Stephanie Herseth isn't a man, but if she was, she'd be quite the looker!) For your enjoyment, I present Tim Johnson, unofficially deemed by South Dakotans as "South Dakota Congressperson I'd Least Like to Play Cribbage With."