Poetry in Translation

A few years ago I stumbled across a technique to turn mundane text into wacky poetry – using the amazing Google Translate tool.

Here's a sentence from a news story from this morning.

In its first ruling on the rights of employees who send messages on the job, the Supreme Court rejected a broad right of privacy for workers Thursday and said supervisors may read through an employee's text messages if they suspect work rules are being violated.

And here's the glorious poem that results. (The line breaks are my own addition.)

In the first Human Rights Award

them the right way,

the Supreme Court rejected the rights and privacy

of its kind to work

last Thursday, he said,

can read text messages to officers, staff,

we suspect violations of the trade rules.

The technique? Simply translate some text into another language using the Google Translator. Then take the result and translate that text into a third language, and so on. Finally, translate it back to English. If you've done enough translations into enough languages, you should end up with something fairly presentable.

My example above translated from English to Afrikaans to Arabic to Belarusian to Catalan to Traditional Chinese to Czech to Irish and then back to English. Voila!

Human Flight to Mars - 20 years behind schedule

I stumbled across this 1969 news article stating that President Nixon wanted achieve a manned Mars landing as early as the 1980s.

Of course, back they all believed that in 2010 we'd have flying cars and unlimited energy. I guess dreams just became too expensive. They probably got sucked up by government social programs.

What's a crisis? Just about everything, apparently

How do you define the word "crisis"?

To read the news, that word covers just about everything. Here's a short, top-line summary of news topics from the last 24 hours featuring the word, "crisis."

financial crisis

debt crisis

Catholic abuse crisis

Madagascar crisis

oil spill crisis

energy crisis

Korean military crisis

Boy Scout abuse crisis

Asian financial crisis

Stephen Baldwin's cash crisis

Niger food crisis

Thailand's political crisis

MGM's financial crisis

school budget crisis

mortgage crisis

California budget crisis

Iraq election crisis

health care crisis

Iceland volcanic crisis

Canadian political crisis

student debt crisis

Toyota sudden acceleration crisis

Vermont dairy crisis

food crisis

Florida avocado crisis

Latino youth crisis

illegal immigration crisis

global warming crisis

Indian radiation crisis

obesity crisis

Now I'm sure that Stephen Baldwin considers his cash flow a serious issue. Even a crisis. But for me, it doesn't even come close to that definition.

How about something bigger? The Iceland volcano crisis. It shut down European air travel for days and cost the industry hundreds of millions of dollars in lost revenue. A true crisis? I'm sure it was to the stranded passengers, or to any airline employee who lost a job as a result. To me? No, not really.

Surely the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico counts as a crisis. That will cost billions in cleanup and damage wildlife, tourism and fishing/shrimping in the Gulf states. It will probably even increase the cost to fill up my tank. Yes, paying that extra $0.20/gallon will suck. But to me--it's not a crisis.

The economy? Okay, I'll go with that one. The effect of the mortgage meltdown and recession have without a doubt affected my economic well-being, and I surely would be living a much more comfortable life if certain economic opportunities hadn't evaporated. So yes, by that sort of estimation, the state of the economy is a crisis.

My point? "Crisis" is entirely subjective. It's a cheap word used to push news stories. If it's a crisis, it must be important. Sure, it's important. But usually only important to someone else.

The biggest crisis in my life right now is a loved one undergoing surgery and treatment for cancer. This crisis eclipses every other issue that concerns me or even holds my interest.

When a news story tells me something is a crisis, it's telling me what should be important to me. It may be preaching something that I happen to agree with, or that I am truly concerned about. But please: Stop cheapening the word, "crisis."

I'll decide on my own if it's important to me.

Cooliris - Pretty Cool

This is a pretty cool way to display photos or whatever on your blog. A 3-D browsable photo wall. Check it out.

Echoes of Obama's National Police Force – in Chicago

There's a push in Chicago to bring in the National Guard to help fight crime.

The idea sounds eerily similar to President Obama's proposal of a "civilian national security force" back on the 2008 campaign trail.

"We cannot continue to rely on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives we've set. We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded."

Is it a coincidence that this push is coming from Obama's own backyard?

Federal troops enforcing domestic law. The very idea sends a chill--and not a nice one.

Spirit Carry-on Baggage Fees: The Corporate Spin

In the corporate world, sometimes the spin is staggering. Having written marketing and PR communications for over 10 years, I find it quite easy to read between the lines and discern what a piece is really trying to communicate (or cover up). Sometimes the spin is so outrageous and exaggerated that I have to do a double-take.

I recently received an email from Spirit Airlines extolling the virtues of its new carry-on baggage policy, which states that your second carry-on will cost you an extra $30.

Here's what went through my mind as I read it.

(Click image to enlarge)

More Obama Money Tied to Union Approval

It is truly the era of union labor. Forty-one states competed for a piece of $4 billion available to reform-minded schools. Of those 41 states, only two were awarded money. And those two states were the only ones claiming unanimous union support. As reported on ABC News:

Experts believed Florida, Georgia, and Louisiana all had strong -- if not stronger -- applications, but what they lacked was the nearly unanimous support from local unions and school districts obtained by Delaware and Tennessee.

"I think this is a win for the unions. What it shows is they have veto power over state application. If they don't sign on, their states are unlikely to get funding," said Michael Petrilli, vice president for National Programs and Policy at the Thomas B. Fordham Institute.

What was that quote by Adam Smith?

"People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public."

This is a great time to be in a union or on the government dole--especially while the rest of the economy collapses.