The Rise of the Gibble-Fists!

Finally there's scientific evidence suggesting that left-handers are rebounding from the brink of extinction. 100 years ago, thanks to over-hunting and destruction of habitat, lefties numbered only 3% of the population. Today, that number has rebounded to a healthy 11%, due in large part to extensive federal protections as well as global warming.

What's more important is that I learned that I can call my self a gibble-fist. Isn't that cool?

A couple other lefty facts from the article:

"Left-handedness is partly hereditary and it had been thought that left-handers were more likely to die before reproducing."

"Swedish researchers found that if a pregnant woman had an ultrasound scan, her chances of giving birth to a left-handed child were raised by 30%."

"While some researchers have linked left-handedness to talents such as creativity with art and languages, others have suggested its effects may be less benign. Recent Dutch research indicated that left-handed women may be twice as likely to die from breast cancer."

With additional federal funding and legislation to level the playing field in a society that inherently favors the right-handed, we lefties can eventually achieve socioeconomic parity with our lesser, but more bountiful, brethren.