Wednesday, December 20, 2006

A Game for Cat Lovers

This is about the millionth variation of a see-how-far-you-can-launch-the-cute-animal game, but somehow it retains its appeal--despite (or because of) the fact that I like cats. Anyway, if you want to give it a try (and attempt to beat my mighty 1,629 feet), go here.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Concocted Word of the Day

hyp·nox·ious /hipˈnɒkʃəs/ [hip-nok-shuhs]

1. Exhibiting properties that are both hypnotic and obnoxious and/or cause nausea: Bruce's shirt was so hideously revolting that I became lost, staring at it for hours.

Yes, that was my shirt yesterday. Thank you.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Scary Santa

Originally uploaded by Senor Velasco.
I suppose until you're at least five, few things are scarier than Santa Claus. It was no exception for my 1.5-year old.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hi, I'm a Mac, and I've Wandered Into Die Hard 4

I've never bought into the whole Die Hard movie concept, and this trailer only solidifies my opinion of the franchise. But what's even funnier is that Bruce Willis' sidekick is played by Justin Long, famous for personifying the Apple Macintosh computer in the famous ad campaign. Recently, Long ditched the advertising world to foray into the film genre. And by the looks of this film, it could be the worst career move he'll ever make.

Suggestion: Go back to peddling "cool," and leave the worthwhile activities/movies to the PC people.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Flash (Flood) Back

I remember back in aught-four when the Big Sioux River burst its banks. Yeah, thems was the days.

(FYI, just fiddling around with posting video to Google Video. Seems pretty slick.)

Thursday, December 07, 2006

My Music Collection

Nobody who reads this cares. Heck, nobody reads this, period. Regardless, here is a link to a list of my entire music library. Feel free to browse. And let me know if you see something you like.

Frightful? Only If You're Commuting

The weather outside is definitely snowy. Which turned a 35-minute drive into a 90-minute one. Still, I guess I'd rather have slow traffic than hazardous speeding traffic.

Here's a photo I took during the snowy turtle-race.

And here's what it looks like from the window of my office building. Kinda pretty when you don't have to consider driving in it.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Oooooo...Fliptop Lens Cover Action

I just got a new lens cover for my soon-to-be-fading-into-obsolescence camera. My other cover had broken, so I opted for the mighty Olycap. It's pretty sweet, as it just swings open. No more fiddling with dangling lens covers or accidentally popping it off. The only thing I have to make sure is to open the cap before turning on the camera. The cap will get in the way of the extending lens and probably not feel to good to the internal mechanisms. And if it breaks the camera, well, I guess I'll just have to get a new one :)

Monday, December 04, 2006

To Reiterate, I Love Macs

Remember that Macintosh font issue a couple posts back? Looks like it's not limited to iChat.

I guess that doesn't matter. I mean, the fact that OS X is so sleek and cool and swooshy makes up for the fact that I can't read a darn thing I type.

This Is Pretty Fun

Care for a minor diversion? Check out Vectorball. It gets cool after the first few levels. Admittedly, I haven't played enough to get more than a mediocre score.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

My Wife

Originally uploaded by Senor Velasco.
My wife as depicted by our three-year-old girl. Notice the blond hair, eye lashes, smile, three shirt buttons, and tree in the background. Voila!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

A Quantum Leap in Lowering Standards

Normally, when people talk about the way things "used to be," it's in reference to something at least 10 years in the past. "In my day, we wouldn't dream of showing our midriff." Or, "Twenty years ago, we hadn't even heard of those things."

Today, we may speak in those same terms. Except that now, we're referring to the last 2-5 years. I think we're witnessing a quantum leap downward in standards of decency.

What got me thinking about this is the whole Britney Spears thing. I'm not one to peddle prurience, but if you're in any way connected to any media outlet, you know that Britney has been photographed multiple times sans underwear.

That in itself, in my opinion, is far from newsworthy. In fact, have deep disrespect for those who produce and distribute such pathetic gossip. But several factors reveal that this is more than a story. It's a symptom of an even steeper slide into the moral morass.

1) Britney isn't the first celebrity to be photographed going commando, though she's likely the most famous – claiming legions of millennials who see her actions and accept them as a new standard.

2) If you and I are at least minimally aware of her knickerless notoriety, then surely the pop princess is informed of her exposure. Heck, Rosie O'Donnell made an appeal on the View to please cover up. Does that matter to Britney? Apparently not, which implies a conscious decision to let it "air out" in full view of the world.

3) The nature of the blogosphere exalts this behavior, giving it voice where even five years ago it wouldn't be seen by more than a handful of perverts. Thanks to today's instantly available celebrity gossip, depravity is given coverage, discussion and, ultimately, acceptance.

I'm sure that going commando is nothing new. But broadcasting it is. Britney is a pioneer of sorts. She's blazing new trails into the jungles of depravity. And likely starting a fashion trend in the process. I predict that five years from now, panties will be passe. And in the warmer climates (which, as everyone knows, will be everywhere), there will be new trendsetters getting chewed out by Rosie for not wearing pants. Just you wait and see.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Get Thee Hence, Blackheads!

Now You Can Encrypt Like the Pros!

I stumbled across a cool little encryption applet that scrambles messages using a keyword. As long as you know the key, you can unscramble the message. Great for telling secrets!

Give it a try.

Decrypt this!



Monday, November 27, 2006

Macs and Monkeys

Just let me vent for a second.

That's what I got when I pasted plain text into an iChat window.

A Mac understands fonts like a chimp understands hydrodynamics.

And a friend of mine suggests that I'm not being fair to chimps. Good point.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Putting Your Money Where Your Politics Are

Ah, we have definitive proof. It's something I've suspected for years and years, but it seems that it has been a conclusion too politically incorrect to study. Until now.

Read this excellent article about a study that shows that conservatives are more generous than their sweet-talking liberal counterparts. Which of course is hypocritical, considering that for decades liberals have labeled conservatives as less compassionate, less caring, less giving.

Looks like the only care that liberals have is to provide for the needy on someone else's dollar. And then take credit for it.

I guess they need the money for their expensive iPods and Apple hardware. Because being cool is more important than being genuine.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

We get who we deserve.

We get who we deserve.
Originally uploaded by Senor Velasco.
I can't help but think this is the conversation taking place around the country right now.

Be Very Afraid.

Well, we've suffered a blow to winning the War on Terrorism. In 2007, Nancy Pelosi and her clown posse will seize control of the House and turn national attention away from the most critical issue of our era. Republicans blew it, thanks to moderates and sellouts who abandoned their ideals and betrayed the people who put them into office. My only hope is that in the next two years, the party will slough off the chaff and come back stronger than before, ready to redeem itself. Meanwhile, President Bush needs all the help he can get to keep his prosecution of the war on track.

Next stop, Mitt Romney in '08!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Orson Scott Card: Sci-Fi and Politics

I stumbled across a very long, quite thorough and exceedingly well written essay from Orson Scott Card – one of my favorite sci-fi authors. His political leanings seem to be well to the left of mine, but he's voting Republican. All based on our chances of winning the War on Terrorism.

For Mr. Card, that's the only issue that matters in this election. Because if we lose this war, we risk losing our rights to just about everything else we hold dear. He contends that the Republicans are the only party who have shown any tenacity in pursuing and demolishing the roots of Islamofascism. And I would agree.

Read the entire article here.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Apple Zealots Are Borderline Psychotic

Originally uploaded by *nathan.
A word of advice: never post a comment critical of any Apple product on a forum full of Mac zealots. If you're not careful, they chop you up into little bits and make a delicious you-flavored casserole.

It's obvious I'm no Apple fan. Never have been. And I speak from years and years of personal experience with Macs. In fact, my industry uses them almost exclusively.

But that's beside my point, which is that Mac zealots are lunatics. Who else devotes entire websites to "unboxing" photos of new Mac merchandise? Who else puts little computer logo stickers on their car? Who else HAS to upgrade to the latest little brushed aluminum piece of poop that Apple says you need to maintain your mojo?

Don't believe me? Just check out this single flickr group devoted to sharing pictures of Apple products. Reading the comments, you'd think you were reading about the cure for cancer or an Adriana Lima bikini photoshoot. And there are countless forums like this.

So when I post a less-than-complimentary comment about the iPod on a flickr page, the responses were immediate and personal. I kept my rhetoric in check, so I didn't get totally flamed out, but these Mac zealots take their iPod very personally. An attack on the iPod is an attack on them, plain and simple.

Anyway, I'm rambling. FYI, I'm typing this on a Mac. Woe is me.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Help, John Kerry!

This is the funniest picture I've seen in a long time. Hooroar!
(Taken from Drudge.)

Monday, October 30, 2006

Untouched For A Million Years

I just wanted to share a cool science story I ran across today. Essentially, Missourians have recently discovered a "time capsule" of sorts. It's a very, very old cave that was sealed at least 55,000 years ago. The cave was used by numerous prehistoric animals, whose remains – and poop – are remarkably well preserved. Very cool indeed.

The coolest part is evidence of a ginormous bear that stood six feet high at the shoulder, and had a bite of more than 2,000 lbs per square inch!

God had must have had a total blast throughout the various periods of creation. How fun would it be to make dinosaurs and giant bears! Though I suppose he also had to create the amoebas, which would be pretty boring.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Al Gore On Earth's "Full-scale Planetary Emergency"

All style, no substance. If rhetoric was cats, Al Gore would put crazy old cat women to shame. Seriously.

I don't have time left today to give this article a scathing enough review, but there's enough hot air in Gore's speech to the Wirefly X Prize Cup Executive Summit 2006 to induce global warming on a scale beyond his wildest happy fantasies (which are wild enough already).

He treats us to some wonderful gems. On the possibility of mankind emigrating from Planet Earth:
"We didn't do a really good job of evacuating the city of New Orleans [due to the onslaught of hurricane]."
On our planet's "rising fever,"
"If the crib catches fire you don't say: ‘Hmmm, how fast is that crib going to burn? Has it ever burned before? Is my baby flame retardant?"
On Earth studies,
"It's still shocking to me that we have more detailed information in some fields about Mars and Venus than we have about Earth."
His speech appears to be littered with so much hyperbole, without the backing of reputable scientific theory, that it's more an exercise in gratuitous blather than a reasonable call to caution.

Read it for yourself. You'll see. Thank goodness he didn't win in 2000.

Thomas Sowell...A Great Thinker

For today's post, I direct your attention to my favorite columnist: Thomas Sowell (bio). I've been reading his articles since my early teens, and every reading is a graceful academic exercise reaffirming my own common-sense ideas and ideals. An economist by trade, this guy has the best-thought-out arguments about everything ranging from liberal activist judges to elitist environmentalists to anti-war peacemongers. Read any comments below his column, and you'll find very few well-crafted rebuttals--a testament to his strong grasp of today's issues and how they fit in the moral scope of the country.

I like his quiet, no-nonsense style. Pretty much the exact opposite of most other talking heads (liberal ones in particular). Check out his column. You'll be smarter for having done it.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Sting: Bored, or Boring?

Let me start by saying that Sting is incredibly gifted. He displays an adeptness for jazz and other musical conventions rarely seen among popular artists, deftly infusing them into his rock music. That's why I consider myself a fan, normally shunning standard FM radio fare.

Now, it seems, according to Reuters, that Sting is bored with rock music.
"Rock music has come to a standstill -- it's not going forward any more, it only bores me."
For me, it's no coincedence that Sting's music is the thing that has become boring in the last few years. I don't disagree with him; today's rock music is generally a huge waste of time--along with just about everything else you hear on the radio. However, an old college friend once told me, "Only boring people get bored." This seems to be the case with Sting. If he wants to shake off the doldrums of boring rock music, I think he would truly benefit from listening to the Flower Kings, Neal Morse or Ayreon. Worked for me.

share your files at

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Deep Mikhail Gorbachev

Doesn't Gorbachev have anything better to do? Apparently not. I can't figure out why anyone puts a microphone in front of the guy.

I refer to an A.P. story in which our esteemed former and defeated communist dictator compares the Berlin Wall with the United States' future border fence with Mexico.

I, too, compare the two barriers. I compare them thusly:

One was designed to keep defectors from escaping. The other is designed to keep illegals from entering.

Honestly, it's the difference between the walls of a prison, and the walls that might surround a country club. Or Disneyland. Or a petting zoo. A petting zoo that a bunch of people want to walk in and see for free.

So Mr. G., we understand your chronic humiliation in being defeated by Reagan, but show some dignity and shut it. Please.

Oh, and the picture? Nothing says "desperate for attention" like posing with Teri Hatcher.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Harry Reid – What A Hero

I just love this headline from U.S. Newswire: "Reid Goes Beyond Ethics Requirements, Disarms GOP Smear Campaign."

The article is pretty much a press release from the Harry camp, outlining the extra-mile efforts Reid has undertaken to head off a Republican smear campaign. In other words, he has frantically tried to rewrite history to avoid losing whatever moral high ground he supposes he has. And it will probably work. It looks like he received enough pressure from his fellows that rather than defend his actions, he has capitulated and tried to make his actions seem like an innocent mistake.

I wish I had the opportunity to make an "innocent mistake" to the tune of nearly a million dollars.

What a handsome picture of Nevada's dear Senator. And what a nice lapel pin.

What kind of pin is that?

Oh yeah, right. Go Harry!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Apple Should Pay Me

Then again, after discovering my well-founded cynicism toward Apple, I'm sure they wouldn't.

But I came up with just the thing to sell the iPod to more elitist Mac lemmings: the streiPod.
Who wouldn't want to gaze upon Babs as they listen to their favorite music and compliment themselves on their own fine taste?

Just remember, Mr. Jobs: It was my idea first.

Album Covers Have It Out

Now, I know this isn't much of a media-rich blog, but I just had to post this very clever and entertaining video. Especially if you're 30 or older. So here.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

People Bad. Not-people Good. Ugh.

It seems that four out of five articles I read incorporate the hackneyed, presumptuous angle that the civilization of man is bad. Can't these people come up with anything else? Don't these environmentalist blowhards realize that their arguments are anything but compelling?

Today, I refer to New Imagine Earth Without People. While the subject matter makes for an interesting read (conjecture as to how planet Earth would adapt in an unpeopled condition), it's lines like this that truly make me roll my eyes:
In just a few thousand years we have swallowed up more than a third of the planet's land for our cities, farmland and pastures. By some estimates, we now commandeer 40 per cent of all its productivity. And we're leaving quite a mess behind: ploughed-up prairies, razed forests, drained aquifers, nuclear waste, chemical pollution, invasive species, mass extinctions and now the looming spectre of climate change. If they could, the other species we share Earth with would surely vote us off the planet.
Swallowed? Commandeer? Mess? Looming spectre?

Let's just cut to the chase and distribute cyanide pills to everyone. I'm not disputing these facts. I just take issue with the foregone conclusion that converting God-given lands to useful purposes is somehow reprehensible.

I love the invention of another amusing evil:
In some countries, including Germany, Austria, Belgium and the Netherlands, there is no longer any night sky untainted by light pollution.
"Bobby, turn off that flashlight right now! Don't you know you're tainting the environment?!"

I suppose if you define "pollution" as something that wouldn't exist without mankind, then sure. I suppose that means every last building, invention, composition, utterance and breath of every human on the planet is a form of pollution. Our very thouhts must be wreaking havoc on the normally pristine psychic enivornment of the planet.

My position can be nicely summarized by Mr. Hollohan, my 9th grade English teacher. Regarding the ongoing struggle between mankind and the Earth, he said that ultimately the Earth will win, hands down. The article states that some of the "damage" we inflict upon the environment will take thousands of years to heal. In geological time, that's the blink of an eye. From the perspective of Earth, it's nothing more than a mosquito bite. We humans aren't as powerful as we think we are.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Happy Birthday to #300,000!

The Independent, a UK pub, issued a guilt-ridden, accusatory article on how those American clods are hogging all the world's resources. After reading it, all I can say is, "Boo hoo." But I was able to glean a nugget of awesomeness from it:
"America is the only industrialised nation in the world experiencing significant population growth."
Gee, isn't that the goal? I know in many circles, (particularly those elitists who can't stand the unwashed masses, and countries like China who have little regard for human life) a growing population is a bad thing. But everywhere I've lived, the goal is to grow the economy, grow the workforce, expand the company, etc. All with the intent to create a higher standard of living.

The article points out that Americans consume far more resources than their fair share. What's "fair"? Are they suggesting that our trillions of dollars worth of resources and manufactured goods simply be doled out to nations crippled by corrupt governments and economically unviable cultures? Are impoverished countries somehow more moral than America by virtue of their economic status? Regardless of the horrific human rights abuses that many of their governments perpetuate? That's quite a definition of fair. Sounds like the Democrats' version of "economic reform."

Well, enough of my rambling. In stark contrast to the gist of the Independent article, I welcome the 300 millionth American with excitement. One more person to grow our economy, innovate advancement and spread the American way of life.

Congratulations, little Pablo!


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

What A Funny Joke!

Boy, it never gets old. This happens every single time I wear a tie to work. Without fail. Which is why I only wear a tie about once a month. Sheesh.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Crappy Shelves, Great Price!

Untitled, originally uploaded by Senor Velasco.

So I bought a couple clearance bookshelves. $15 apiece. Normally $60. I think they're barely worth $15, but they're serviceable, as far as particle board goes.

Anyway, this is about as advanced as my Sketchup skills are at this point. If they inspire you, you have issues.

Speaking of "Trifecta"...

tim johnson, originally uploaded by Senor Velasco.

I now have my triumvirate of signed photographs of South Dakota's three congressmen. (Yes, Stephanie Herseth isn't a man, but if she was, she'd be quite the looker!) For your enjoyment, I present Tim Johnson, unofficially deemed by South Dakotans as "South Dakota Congressperson I'd Least Like to Play Cribbage With."

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Ow, my eye!

Stephanie Herseth, originally uploaded by Senor Velasco.

I don't know how or when (though I have an idea), but my stinking eye is swollen and itchy. I thinkning a piece of noxious weed got in my eye when I was whacking the abundance of foliage in our little orchard out back. I also have little rashes and swollen areas breaking out on various parts of my body. I hate this!

To vent my frustrations, here's an autographed picture of Stephanie Herseth I just got in the mail.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Trifecta: A Word I'm Beginning To Hate

I just wanted to vent about that word. It's annoying, it's pretentious and every last person on the blogosphere (yes, that's hackneyed, too) is using it. Go back to "trio," or at least "triumvirate." On second thought, save "triumvirate" for Robotech.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

New Mower - Not a Bad Deal

Crap: Having to mow a 1/2 acre lawn.
Crap: Not being able to afford a riding mower.
Not crap: At least getting a good deal on a self-propelled mower.

List price: $320.
Purchase price: $120.

Thanks, Lowes!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Headline of the Day

This, from

"In God We Trust" now Florida's official state motto. Apparently "Woo hoo it's crazy here and we're all out of our minds" already taken.

Read the real story.

Dinky Car

This really doesn't have anything to do with being crappy (except that it happened during my crappy 35-minute commute) but look at the silly car! What a little sissy! It's like the short bus for private school! Whatever that means.

Is this a BMW Isetta?

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Quote of the Day

"When it's over, all that's left is going to be one square mile of feces. I hate hippies."

This from a resident of Clark, Colorado, upon which the Rainbow Family decends once a year to make a mess of the community's backyard.

That falls in the category of "crappy," I think.


Monday, June 19, 2006

Someone's In Trouble

It was a crappy day for some copywriter who left in the typo. Can you find it?

Free Image Hosting at

Friday, June 09, 2006

Waste of Time

Yay. I beat the Pepsi/Japanese game and wasted time doing it. Nothing says "I like myself" better than a crappy Pepsi banner.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


It's 6/6/6. That crappy enough for ya?


Okay, here.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Look What I Bought!

Originally uploaded by Senor Velasco.
If you look closely, you can see something I just acquired. The towel? Nope. Candles? No, sir. The bright shiny doorknob? Yes--plus the door, the bathroom and the rest of the house.

Yes, I have a new house. Slightly larger, significantly nicer and much newer than my previous house. With a mortgage to make one gag.

So enjoy my luxurious bathroom. I certainly will when I move in.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I'll Never See A Cathedral the Same Way Again

Originally uploaded by Senor Velasco.
Thanks, Dan Brown. On recommendation from my mom, I finally picked up and read The Da Vinci code over the weekend. This isn't a review; suffice it to say that it's basically Brown's dissertation interrupted by brief episodes of action and somewhat of a plot.

Nothing really impressed me about the book except that Brown compares the front door of a cathedral with girl-parts. Great, thanks alot. Just please, please don't do one centered around the Washington Monument.